[VIDEO] Sheep born, and living happily, with upside-down head

Aren't you SO glad this is a video post? 

This is Terry, a British sheep whose head is upside-down. According to vets, he's otherwise perfectly healthy and doesn't suffer any kind of disability as a result of his 'unique perspective'. 

Cue the 'must be part Australian' jokes. 

Thieves attempt to blow open ATM, blow up bank instead

Let's just get this out of the way now: "You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off".

Student earns graduate job as a scarecrow

Who said University graduates had no job prospects?

Two people banned from "All-you-can-eat" restaurant for eating too much

I don't know whether this is a particularly common occurrence, but you can hardly blame them for taking the restaurant's branding literally, can you?

Farmer eaten by own pigs

Ever read George Orwell's Animal Farm? Some deep, philosophical stuff going on there, right? A harrowing fictional tale of a nightmarish animal uprising. Fictional, right? Maybe not. 

Two hundred live tarantulas found in suitcase

How about a big ol' bag of NOPE?

A German couple returning from Peru were apprehended at Amsterdam airport with two hundred live tarantulas (among other things) stuffed in their suitcase. 

Woman too busy texting to notice she's falling down a cliff

Maria Pestrikoff of Kodiak, Alaska, managed to fall sixty feet down a cliff because she was too busy texting. Last recorded text message read "brb - signal's dropping" (not really). 

Pro Wrestler lays the smack down on a lunatic

Shawn Daivari of former WWE and current TNA fame is responsible for saving a train car full of bystanders from the dangerous actions of a raving lunatic, by choking him until he wet himself. 

And you thought it was all fake...

Soldier kills friend in an attempt to scare away hiccups

Hiccups: The Most Annoying Way To Die (Probably)

[VIDEO] Saline 'bagelheads' are the new 'bodymod' thing

Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and thought "My head would look a LOT nicer if it had a massive, bagel-shaped bulge in the middle"? Of course you have.

This new bodymod craze comes to us courtesy of Japan.

...Of course it does.

7 year old boy strong enough to pull a car (with passengers)

Read that 'Zombees' story from the other day? Terrified for the future of humanity? Don't be! I've found a future superhero who will surely save us all, by lifting very heavy things.

Man attempts to smuggle self into Spain, dressed as a car seat

Disregarding the obvious safety concerns, wouldn't that just be the WORST time to get uh, y'know, 'aroused'?

Man arrested for having sex with a sofa in public

Man quoted as saying "Oh, you said to practice SAFER sex..." (Not really)

Zombie bees. ZOMBIE. BEES.

That's it, I'm out. Last one to leave the planet, turn the lights off. This is real. It is a thing. It is happening. Everybody run.

Turkish emergency services mobilise to save a drowning sex doll

As 'well meaning' as some folks undoubtedly are, sometimes, all your 'moral fibre' gets you is a soggy inflatable sex aid. 

Drunk woman thinks she's a pirate. Steals a ferry to prove it.

We've all been there, right? A couple of beers, a late night, and police reports that you went on a bender and stole an ENTIRE FERRY, claiming you were a pirate?

Million-strong synchronised toilet flush scheduled in Zimbabwe

One to add to the 'Things I Know About Zimbabwe' category.

[VIDEO] Piglet saves goat from drowning

In a marvellous display of cross-species compassion (except from the humans, who stood and did nothing), watch this brave, young Future Bacon Sandwich rescue a goat whose foot (hoof?) is trapped beneath the water. 

Expect Disney to pick up the movie rights to this news story in the next few days. 

[Source: Newslite]

Man chops off own hands to stop himself from stealing

27-year-old Egyptian man, Ali Afifi, apparently couldn't stop himself from stealing by sheer willpower alone. Obviously, the only logical solution was to chop off his hands. That's not the best part.

Hello, universe!

The Captain here, aboard the H.M.S. W.T.F, currently orbiting Earth in stealth mode, filling most of my days by observing the seriously crazy, occasionally messed-up crap that some of you people get up to.

For my own amusement, I'll be logging some of the best examples here, as a sort-of catalogue of the Human species. You're an odd bunch, aren't you?